It's everybodies favorite zombie movie! Zombies have basically taken over the earth since the events in Night Of The Living Dead and a group of people decide to hide out in a abandoned shopping mall in the Pennsylvania country side. If I were faced with the decision of where to hide out during the zombie attack, I to would probably choose a shopping mall (yes I think about these things, you need to be prepared people!). Just think about it, the shopping mall has EVERYTHING! WEll not really the shopping malls around here because they are pretty shitty but fuck I have a car, I could travel to a good shopping mall! Zombies can't bite through metal vechicles going 80 miles an hour (I can speed god damn it, the fucking zombies are attacking!). Plus the mall has Porn just incase my lady friends all die I can still wack off and relieve some tension, then I could shoot over to the video game store and play some games, probably Resident Evil or something like that, just incase zombies are watching they'll know I don't fuck around. Oh I'm supposed to be talking about the movie and not what I would do if the zombies attacked? Well fuck you this is MY review damn it! You've probably already seen this movie anyway, you know if you like it or not, and if you haven't seen it then, well, you're a douche bag, what the fuck are you waiting for? The zombies could attack any day now in this crazy society, this are like educational videos! Anyway, back to the movie. The thing that I look most about this movie is the comic book feel, the way that it was shot makes it feel like a comic book come to life. The only thing I don't life is the look of the zombies, I mean some of them are pretty good but the majority of them just just slow moving people with white face paint on, they could have done much better, especially since Tom Savini did the special effects, oh and he also plays a biker that has one of those switch blade combs for his mustache, that makes him even cooler in my book. Theres like 3 different cuts of this movie, all of which I have seen at one point or another but I still prefer the original US Theatrical Cut that Achor Bay release a few years back, so thats the one I usually stick to. The mall that this was shot in (the Monroe mall) acutally isn't to far from me I think, I just visit it one day just because I have no life and visiting the mall that a student zombie was shot in 30 years ago would make my life slightly more torable. Ok this review is depressing me, so it's done!

Points: Movie: 5/5, Gore: 5/5, Sex/Nude Scenes: 0/5, Humor 2/5, Acting: 4/5
Extra Points: N/A

Buy DVD

Dawn Of The Dead 2004, uR, 109 Min

The world has been flooded with remakes the past couple of years and most of them were TERRIBLE and when I heard they were remaking Dawn Of The Dead I became enraged, ENRAGED I SAY! But then I decided to check it out anyway and it turned out to be a great film. The plot is basically the same as the first only with different characters and different events, but it's still humans Vs zombies in a giant shopping mall. It was written by James Gunn who also wrote Tromeo & Juliet as well as the Scooby Doo movies (eh...) I like him a lot and always thought he was pretty cool back in his Troma days. The remake is also very gory, even the R rated cut, I only saw the rated R Cut once so I honestly can't remember what was new in the Uncut version which is pretty fucked up considering 9 minutes worth of footage were put back it. But in my denfese I watch a lot of horror movies and I can't remember EVERYTHING! I also loved the fact that they used a Richard Cheese track in the movie haha, because he is great and it acutally fit the montage rather well. My favorite would have to be the guy on the gun store roof across from the mall who communicates through signs, there is also an amusing scene with him sniping out "celebrity look-a-like zombies" that pretty much anyone will find funny. Another great scene is when the one chick gives birth to a zombie baby and they shoot it in the face, but not everyone will find that funny, I on the other hand do. Speaking of the chicks in this movie, most of them are very hot and one of them gets fucked doggystyle during the Richard Cheese montage, so how about that! There are also cameos by Ken Foree, Scott Reiniger, and Tom Savini (this time without a mustach comb though). I'm sure most of you have seen it by now, but if you haven't or are one of those people who chose to boycott it for whatever bullshit reason, I suggest you see it because it's good shit.

Points: Movie: 5/5, Gore: 4/5, Sex/Nude Scenes: 3/5, Humor 4/5, Acting: 5/5
Extra Points: N/A

Buy DVD